Quads, Quarries, and Quarrels is the eighteenth episode of the second season.
"I'm booooored," groanded Damian.
"Please, Damian, would you stop complaining?" Edward asked. He was growing frustrated.
"If Damian ever stopped complaining, I'd grow a beard," remarked David.
"Pah!" Scoffed Dailey, "You could never grow a beard if you tried! You're not manly enought."
"I'll have you know that growth of facial hair is not at all abstract. We all have follicles all over our faces. The rate at which they grow is varied, but..."
"Nerd!" Interrupted Damian.
"No one understands you when you talk in your geeky, sci-fi language," said Dailey.
"Just because my IQ exceeds that of yours, that doesn't make me a 'nerd,'" retorted David, "Besides, it doesn't take much to be smarter than you three inept ding-dongs!"
"Would you stop speaking?" Grumbled Damian, "You're high-pitched nerd voice is piercing my ears!"
"What ears?" Asked Dawson slyly.
"Would you please stop it?" Asked Edward, "Can you not go a minute without this squabbling?"
There was an awkward silence, then Damian responded. "No."
Edward sighed. He was taking the four new tank engines to the China Clay Pits to begin their trial, but with every wheel turn came bickering from the little engines. Edward was fed up.
"It'll be over soon," he thought, "Just drop them off at the Clay Pits, and Bill and Ben.. Oh, no! Bill and Ben and these four?! Derek will be there, but he can't handle all six of them. Fergus might be working there, but Bill and Ben never listen to anything he says. I'll have to stay there myself all day! No, I have work to do. I'll ask BoCo. Yes, BoCo can handle it. I hope he's available. If not, well I don't even..."
Edward's thoughts were rudely interrupted.
"Are we there yet?" Damian complained.
"Being annoying isn't gonna get you anywhere," objected Dawson.
"It's got him this far," remarked Dailey.
"Don't encourage him!" Snapped Dawson.
"I'm not!" She protested, "I'm just coming to the realization that his brain to anyone else's is like Pluto to the Sun."
"Cool," Damian said, "My brain's the size of a planet. I'm a genius!"
"That was an analogy," said David.
"Hah!" Laughed Damian, "That's not even a real word!"
"Of course it is! It means..."
"Does it look like I care what your silly little nerd word means?" Damian asked rudely.
"Enough already!" Edward snapped, "We're here!"
The little engines awed at the Clay Pits.
"Oh, look!" Said Edward hurriedly, "Here comes Derek. He'll tell you what to do. Good-bye!" He backed away, but stopped and whispered to Derek, "Good luck," then he raced off.
"Um, hello," said Derek to the four little engines.
"Hello," said David.
"Hi," said Dawson.
"Hey," said Dailey.
"Wazzup?" Said Damian. Eight eyes turned towards him.
"My name is Derek. I take it you're new around here?"
"Yes," said all four engines in unison.
"Well, I would love to show you around, but I have a train to take to Brendam. Fergus is here, and so are Bill and Ben."
"Who's Fergus?" Asked Dawson.
"He's a railway traction engine who sometimes works here. He may look a little weird, but he is really useful," explained Derek, "Well, it was good meeting you, but I've got to go! Good-bye!"
"Good-bye, Derek!" Said David.
Derek left with his train. Then, two tank engines chuffed over. It was Bill and Ben.
"Hello, friends!" Chuckled Bill, "Happy to have you here, aren't we, Ben?"
"Yes," agreed his twin, "You can never have two many engines in the Pit!"
Then Fergus clattered over.
"Bill! Ben! You have duties to attend to!" He called.
"Hmm. Do you hear something?" Asked Bill.
"Probably the wind," suggested Ben.
"That's odd," joked Bill, "I could've sworn someone was talking. It's almost like an ugly old traction engine wants us to... work."
The twins laughed and set back to work. Fergus sighed. Then he saw the four engines.
"Oh, newcomers! Pleasure to have you! I'm Fergus."
"Oh," said Damian, "You must be that weirdo traction engine Derek was talking about."
"Damian!" Snapped Dailey.
"What? Derek said he looks weird."
"He probably didn't want us rambling about it," scolded David, "I know I wouldn't have. Whenever I have a negative opinion about someone, I keep it to myself! That would be rude! In fact, on our way over here, I noticed Dawson smelled really bad, and I didn't say anything!"
"I think that fishy smell was that old barge we were on," said Dawson.
"I think Olivia looked wonderful!" Snapped Dailey, "It's not her fault she lives in the ocean!"
"She still smells bad," said Damian.
"I'm sure it was Dawson," said David.
"Ahem!" Said Fergus, "Let's get down to business. We need extra help with the rock crusher. It's right by the shed. It needs to be moved to the cliffside. It's heavy, but I'm sure the four of you can handle it if you work together."
Fergus chuffed away, and the little engines moved over to the massive rock crusher.
"Alright." said Dawson, "I'll pull in front, and you three push behind."
"No, no, no!" Insisted Dailey, "I'll lead."
"Why should you lead?" Argued Dawson.
"Because I'm the oldest!"
"By literally one hour!"
"Maybe I should lead!" Declared Damian.
"Why?" Asked the others.
"Because I'm the best looking!" The others groaned. "What? I am!"
"I could lead," suggested David. The other three laughed. "What?"
"Give me a break!" Scoffed Dailey, "I definitely had a reason. I'll admit, Dawson kind of has a reason. And, Damian, well, somewhere in his diluted brain, he has a reason. But you? What reason do you have?"
"Well, I'm the smartest!"
"So what?" Asked Damian.
"So I can guide your lost minds with my wits!"
"Nope. No wits here," said Dawson, "Just an oversized brain filled with useless facts."
"Well, I learned these 'useless facts' in the timespan of a week and a half!"
"This is just frustrating!" Complained Dailey, "One of you bumblebuffers just go to the back already!"
"I'm not going to the back!" Grumbled Damian.
"I'm not either," said Dawson.
"You know what? Fine!" Said David, "If it'll get us on with our work sooner, I'll go in the back! I guess someone has to go behind to make sure the rock crusher is aligned perfectly. Someone with ultimate brainpower!"
"I thought they were 'wits,'" teased Damian.
So Dailey, Dawson, and Damian coupled up in front, and David buffered up behind. The four engines hauled the giant rock crusher to the area where it was needed. The foreman was waiting.
"Ah, hello!" He called, "Please move the crusher towards the cliffside. We've marked the spot it needs to go to."
"Got it, Chief," said Dailey.
So the four engines started to move it towards the marked area.
"Move it forwards," called David, "It's a ways behind the mark."
"Kay!" Dailey called back.
They slowly moved forwards.
"Um, scoot it back a bit. You're too far forwards!"
"Fine!" Dawson said. The other three were starting to get frustrated.
They shunted back.
"Too far!" David exclaimed, "Move it forwards!"
"Ugh! Whatever!" Damian said crossly.
They started to steam forwards.
"No, no, no! Too far!"
"Dave, just shut up!" Said Damian.
"Dave, no one cares," Dawson grumbled.
"But..." David started, but he didn't finish. The rock crusher had moved too far forwards. Now, David was right on the marked area! The rocks started to fall down, but they fell down on him, instead of the crusher!"
"AAAAAAH!!!" David cried.
"DAVE!" The other three engines cried, but David didn't answer. He was completely buried in rocks. He could barely speak.
"Okay! I've got a plan," said Dailey, "Dawson, go get the breakdown train. Damian, make sure the Fat Controller doesn't come here. I'll stay here and..."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Said Dawson, "Why are you in charge?"
"Because I'm the oldest! We've been over this!"
"That changes nothing!" Said Dawson.
"Helping David out now, arguing later!" Called David from under the rocks.
"Right," said Dailey, "Stop arguing and do what I say!"
"You're not in charge!" Said Dawson.
"I should be in charge!" Said Damian.
"You've got the IQ of a garden snail!" Snapped Dailey.
"Do garden snails have a high IQ?"
"Can't we do this later?" Shouted David.
"Fine!" Said Dailey, "I'll get the breakdown train!"
So Dailey collected the breakdown train and brought it back to the Clay Pits. David wasn't hurt, but the accident had put them far behind schedule.
"This is all your fault, David!" Barked Dawson, "If you hadn't gotten buried, then we wouldn't be so late!"
"It's not my fault!" Protested David, "I tried to tell you we were too far forwards, but you didn't listen!"
"David's right," said Dailey, "It was our fault."
"Oh, what do you know? You're a girl!" Said Damian.
"Damian, just shut up and work!" Ordered Dawson.
"Oh, you just..."
Then the Fat Controller arrived. "What is going on here! I've got word from Edward, Derek, and Fergus that you four have been causing trouble all day! I knew I would probably end up having to send one of you away, but I didn't think I would end up sending all of you back!"
"WHAT?!" Gasped the four engines.
"I wanted you to work together! However, I can see that that's not the case, so..."
"Please, Sir!" Said Dailey, "Just give us one more chance! I promise we can work together! Right guys?"
"Yeeeeaaaahhh...." Said the other three, not very confident.
"Oh, fine!" Said the Fat Controller, "One more chance, and one more chance only! I'll give you till the end of the week, but if you mess this up, you will all be sent away! Understand?"
"Yes, Sir!" Said Dailey, and the Fat Controller left.
"Dailey, why'd you do that? You know we're all just gonna screw it up!" Said David.
"No, we're not!" Protested Dailey, "We will make it through the week, and we will stay on this railway! You guys with me?"
The three engines looked at each other. They realized that although the odds were against them, they had no choice but to try.
"Alright," said Dawson, "What's the plan?"
"Wait," said Dailey, "You want my input?"
"You are the oldest," said David.
"What do you say, Dails?" Asked Damian.
"I say, let's prove to the Fat Controller that the Quads are here to stay!" The engines whistled in agreement. "Also... don't call me 'Dails.'"
So for the rest of the week, the four engines worked hard, and did their very best not to complain once. By the time the week ended, the Fat Controller was very impressed.
"Well done!" He said, "I am very proud... and surprised... that you were able to make it the whole week without causing trouble! I've received a good word from all the engines, and, against my better judgement, I have decided to allow you to stay on my railway!"
The Fat Controller drove away, and the four little engines cheered delightedly.
"We did it!" Exclaimed Dailey.
"And we get to stay!" Added David excitedly.
The engines were thrilled.
So after that, Dailey, Dawson, Damian, and David have been official parts of the North Western Railway. They work at quarries and clay pits around the railway, as well as preforming odd jobs. They do still argue a bit, very frequently, in fact, but they are really useful nonetheless, and very happy with their lives on the Fat Controller's railway.
- BoCo (mentioned)
- Olivia (steam ship) (mentioned)